Where to begin when you feel like quitting but don’t want to fail

The hardest thing about when you feel like quitting but you also don’t want to fail is not whether you should quit or keep going.

The hardest thing is to know the difference between quitting and failing.

The media has us fall for all kinds of romantic notions like the relentless warrior, the 24/7 hustle, of winning at all costs, and of course, the crowd favorite, never! quit!

Cue a multitude of cliches scattered on a bed of English roses, bathing in moonlight while the curtains waft in the gentle breeze. By the beach, of course.

But the worst thing you can do when you see this manufactured romance is to blindly drink the cool-aid; the sugar buzz can leave you craving what’s “out there” in real life and real time.

Quitting is not the same as failing.

Quitting is a conscious decision, a choice based on the many available to you. They may not be ideal, but they are choices nonetheless.

Quitting is a way to change direction so you don’t hit a dead end.

Quitting can be a smart choice.

Failing, on the the other hand, is a judgement you place on yourself.

Failing is when you hit a dead end and there are no other options.

Failing happens when you give up, or have nothing left to give.

The reason why it’s hard to tell the difference between quitting and failing is because we forget how to use them.

You can quit to avoid failing.

You can fail, learn from it, and use what you learned to persist, i.e., not quit when it matters.

You’re not a failure if you quit smoking.

Your kid is not a failure if she drops piano when she’s playing two sports, keeping up with her homework and her grades, and wants to spend time with her friends.

You are not failing if your goals are not the same as ten years ago, or if your circle of friends is smaller – but better – than after college, or your house is a mess but there’s food on the table and laughter in the air.

We know what failure feels like, but we often need to be reminded to learn from it.

And when there are times we feel like quitting—and in fact, it would be wise to—we feel we don’t have permission to do it. (And we definitely don’t have permission to feel good about quitting.)

So if you needed it, consider this your reminder as well as your permission slip.

Maybe it’s time for a new romance.

One that makes your heart flutter and leaves you floating just a little, because it’s soulfully grittier, because it shifts you forward, and because it’s real.