When you can’t come to a conclusion

Come to a pause instead.

There are times in life when the anticipation of discovery is thrilling, when not knowing what will happen feels like a welcome flame in the drabness of the everyday predictable. A good book, a movie that hooks you in, a meaningful connection with someone you just met. Some might even say these moments land us in the realm of pure joy.

On the flip side, not knowing the answers amid ongoing pain and suffering can fill one with anguish and despair. We are not meant to constantly hover over the edge of terror and overwhelm; that is the fire that slowly and steadily scorches us.

When things are beyond our control, when we’re waiting, seemingly endlessly, when we must endure hardship, our search becomes desperate.

Self awareness? Honesty? Being present?

No. We want answers, and not just any answer, but the right answers. This is our survival instinct in full force, asking for the almost impossible.

But what if there are no clear and perfect answers? No satisfactory conclusion? We can keep spinning our wheels till we burn out.

Or, we can come to a pause instead.

A pause to center ourselves and remove the blinders of survival mode.

A pause to see possibilities we were too panicked to notice before.

A pause to see what our gut and heart are saying, now that the brain has ceased its screaming.

A pause to accept that in the absence of perfect answers, we can make peace with and choose between what is available right now, or calmly wait till other possibilities present themselves.

A pause to realize that even in this day and age, patience is still a value, something we’ve forgotten.

A pause to acknowledge and accept what is under our control, and most of life isn’t.

A pause to acknowledge that outside of our challenges, there are good things in our life that we are forgetting about or taking for granted.

A pause to realize we can stay in the pause for as long as we need, because our instincts will guide us to a truer, more aligned path where the inner “shoulds” or the outer world’s dictates have failed to deliver.

This is hardly a conclusion, and feels practically lazy in a world that demands constant results. But if those results don’t mean what you once thought they did, perhaps it’s worth a moment of your time to, well, make the most of your time.

Photo by Max Harlynking on Unsplash