What comes after failure? Recommitment.

No matter what goes on in the outside world, the inner work does not stop. It must not stop.

Failure can grind us to a halt. Be it the mere idea of it, or the perception, or the heavy sinking feeling of experiencing it. We dig our heels in. We put our defenses on and get our weapons out, ready to inflict pain on the world or on ourselves. Or we simply stall in our helplessness, or stray off our path.

Failure is an inevitable part of life, but luckily, so is learning to deal with it.

At any moment, you can choose to recommit.

Recommitment is the intention, the resolve, and then the work of moving through and past failure; so pretty much the last thing you want to do.

Recommitment is not a natural inclination. It involves going against yourself, more specifically your ego, which is holding on to the story of the failure oh so tight. But like all commitments, it isn’t there to make you happy, it’s there to make your grow.

It means you actively decide to stop doing everything that doesn’t involve directly facing the situation as is, or your part in it. Brené Brown calls this “rumbling with failure”. Avoidance, denial, burying it in ice cream or peanut butter or happy hour don’t make the cut. You face it and take it apart.

It means putting it all on the table, including your sins. It means acknowledging everything, including your anger, your disappointment, your frustration, your loss. Not the fingers pointing to the moon, says author Richard Rohr, but the moon itself, and now including the dark side of the moon too.

This process breaks you up a bit, then breaks you open.

It gives you access of the deepest parts of yourself, and exposes fresh soil for new growth.

And then you begin to move forward.

In the end, it is not about reclaiming what you (might have) lost. It is about discovering your significantly new self in and through the process.