The time has come when we (hopefully) are dialing down on the same old conversations that wait at the ready as we usher in a new year. When we eat our fill from the annual goals-and-resolutions buffet, the inevitable happens—a simultaneous heaviness and emptiness of having eaten a lot but not well, nor what we really wanted.
A hallmark of any good relationship is acknowledging when something isn’t working. But when it’s the relationship between you and yourself (or for that matter, your stomach), you can’t just break up. Oh, you can lie, cheat, numb, abuse, or disconnect from yourself plenty (we all do), but at the end of the day, and every day till your last breath, you and your self are tied together.
As an intellectual idea, it’s so simple and elementary; is it even worth mentioning? But as many “simple” ideas go, very few of us take the time or the trouble to gain a deep understanding of it and how it impacts our life. It’s much easier to stay in an uncomfortable relationship because it is familiar, rather than turn over the heavy rocks under which we buried things we’d rather not think about. We’re human, and depth scares us. The truth about ourselves scares us even more.
But as life goes, if we let things eschew too much on one end, a reckoning will surely come. And sometimes, it comes with such force that it wrecks everything in its path. The true self you were ignoring, hiding, or suppressing spills forth. It’s the one thing you did not want to see happen, what you were trying so hard to avoid. Your worst fears. The most bitter truths.
But oh, the relief! The colossal weight of such an intricate and longstanding pretense finally off your shoulders. The glimpses of liberation peeking through the wreckage. The hint of possibilities that didn’t seem within reach before now unfolding. The broken shackles of captivity at your feet.
Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way; you don’t have to wait for a reckoning to shatter you before you begin to live as you truly want to. But it happens often enough, because we tend to not pay attention unless our foundations are shaking, threatening to collapse.
You can make smaller, truer choices every day. Some might go against common culture, some might go against your conditioning. The silver lining is that it forces you to examine your choices, but the goal is the same—reaching your truth. It takes effort, creativity, and yes, resolve. Because the things you want to live your right life—things you actually want and need and that will fulfill you and give you meaning and purpose—each and every one begins right here, at your true self.
This is what you’ve been hungry for all this time, haven’t you?
Photo: Henrik Olund
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