If you’re a strong-willed and accomplished person, it’s likely you place a high value on achievement. In fact, it may even be one of your core beliefs, a driving factor behind significant life decisions.
So it’s probably not a stretch to say that you put in a lot of hard work, both mentally and physically.
The dark side of this coin, however, is that many high achievers lose touch with who they are. Their career, title or goal becomes their identity, and it takes more and more out of them to deal with the stress, frustration and challenges that inevitably arise on their path.
We all get tired at times, such is life. But there’s a certain kind of tiredness that is especially draining, the kind that feels deep and hollow. Often times it’s easy to avoid or ignore by diving deeper into your work, but it doesn’t simply disappear. It just seeps in even deeper, weighing you down. It is no wonder that silence is unsettling for so many; the idea of facing those thoughts feels too uncomfortable.
This tiredness is not soothed with a mere nap, a good night’s sleep, or even a week-long stay by the beach.
This is the tiredness of fear, of pursuing an ideal that you either worry you will never reach or that it will not be enough. It is the tiredness of trying to fit into a mold of who you think you should be. It is the tiredness of holding the door closed with all your might, because you already know you’re not going to like what’s on the other side.
As long as you’re weighed down on the inside, physical rest will only go so far.
Your day to day tasks are not necessarily the origin of your stress. Take all the naps you want; they won’t give you the rest you need.
This is why goals can feel so loaded. If what you seek is arbitrary, something that merely sounds good, the idea of pursuing it feels heavy, like a dark shadow. Your mind will be in a constant state of defense, and the goal will seem that much harder and come at a much higher emotional expense.
Your energy goes to keeping up with a moving finish line, leaving no space for contentment or acceptance of where you are right now.
You need a practice—or several practices—that allow you to remember and rest in the truth of who you are.
This is what true self-care is all about. It’s a regular practice of doing what makes you feel like yourself.
This is also what meditation does. It is neither shutting things out (denial) or off (avoidance). It is seeing things clearly, and deliberately positioning yourself differently in relationship to them, while allowing them to unfold in their own way.
These practices bring you to an awareness that goes beyond your mental state or life circumstances, and does not fluctuate with either. They remind you to have faith that sooner or later you will find a way to act, to come to terms, move through and beyond.
Practice this, and you’ll experience a level of rest that can literally change your life.
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