The goal rush vs “it’s part of the process”

 

Results seekers, goal getters, high achievers and accomplishment lovers—

You know and live for the high of wins; it’s what makes you tick, and what fuels you forward.

But sometimes, the path you choose to getting what you want (or think you want) leaves a lot to be desired. Things tend to get intense. The big picture gets foggy. You go from high gear to high-speed in seconds, where the trips and falls come faster and hit harder.

If you’re not careful, you risk giving in and giving up altogether, or making yourself and everyone around you miserable until you get what you want. It has to be done, and done right. Anything less feels like failure.

You’ve traded joy for the hustle.

And the suffering makes you insufferable.

Admit it.

When you lose the race . . . no, let’s not even go there. But when you race past the finish line, the oh-so-sweet victory feels hollow. So you look for the next one. And the next.

Frankly, this is unsustainable.

And deep deep deeeeeep down, you know it.

You also know there’s an alternative to this self-induced pain/pleasure, even if you’ve ignored it or mocked it out right.

It’s an approach called “it’s part of the process”.

It doesn’t appeal at first glance, I know. I’ve given it lip service myself, then shrugged it off. But the crash and burn of the chase isn’t as appealing as it used to be. I think a little joy, exhaling and dialing down the drama is a lot easier on the mind, body and soul.

But what does it mean, exactly? I collected only bits and pieces, which kept me guessing, until I accidentally found exactly what I was looking for, right on my shelf. It’s a book on writing (Deep Writing, by Dr. Eric Maisel), but I’ve found those are usually the best places to learn about life.

As you tackle your next big project, milestone or goal, or achieving it seems impossible, too far away and you begin to waiver, here’s what “it’s part of the process” means:

1. The insight eluding you for that long is part of the process.

2. Ups and downs are part of the process.

3. Mistakes are part of the process.

4. Effort and relaxation are part of the process.

5. Changing your mind is part of the process.

6. No one particular energy defines the process.

7. Getting badly hurt is part of the process.

8. Both doing and not doing are part of the process.

“What honoring the process means is that you accept these ups and downs and natural difficulties without too much complaint. You work to influence the process in a positive way. You keep an open heart. You keep an open mind.”

The process says that the results, goals, checklists and accomplishments worthy of pursuit can be reached by taking a saner path, one that may take a little longer but carries us much farther. It narrows our wide flame for more depth, and steadies our wild flame for resilience.

The hit of the next finish is almost irresistible, and the emotional drama of the chase is seductive. But if the payoff leaves you exhausted, full yet unsatisfied, or a winner but still searching, maybe it’s time for a different approach.

I’ll give you some time to process it.

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