Is this a time to take it easy, or do more?

This question comes up a lot, including in my own head.

If things had gone according to plan, I’d be at work, kids would be at school, and life would be proceeding as normal.

Instead, I’m writing in the morning, kids are getting ready for online classes, and the word ‘normal’ has lost all meaning.

At some level we’ve always known that life is uncertain. But never has uncertainty manifested so largely, collectively and clearly, front and center, striking fear in our face and in our heart.

So here we are, each trying to move forward in this new, weird reality. And it hasn’t been easy.

For many of us, this means no or less obligations from work, staying in most of the day, and thus more time on our hands.

So I ask you: Is this a time to take it easy, or do more?

What is everyone else doing?

On my feeds—the way most of us are connecting these days—popular opinions tend to fall in roughly two camps. One camp recommends taking this opportunity to rest, relax, be still, i.e., embrace and enjoy the slower pace. The other camp is all about increasing productivity, starting and finishing back-burner projects, or learning new skills.

You can probably make the case for either side, but what I want to address is how the influence of either can create a sense of pressure, perhaps subtle but strong, of what we “should” do, generating a dark emotional undercurrent, increasing our stress level and weighing us down, making it more difficult to deal with our circumstances.

As I tried to make sense of my own life, it took several days and several bouts of terror to come to grips with what is (and not I wished it would be).

One realization was that listening to too many voices (especially intense, loud voices) was fueling a storm in my head, and that what I “should” do was often at odds with what I needed for my own sanity (step one: spend less time online).

What sounds good vs what you need

Life is a mystery but it is no mystery novel. You’ve probably guessed that the answer—your answer as well, if you were pondering this question—lies somewhere in between. In the depths of binary struggles, we often forget the answer doesn’t have to be one or the other, that it can, and usually is, some of both.

The hard part is figuring out which elements from both sides form an answer that works best for you.

I say this is hard because when thrown in new, overwhelming situations under high stress, it is tempting to fall for popular opinions without consulting your inner gauge.

As someone who strongly believes in inner work, embracing the slower pace of life and appreciating the little things appeals to me.

And as someone who has a strong inclination toward productivity, getting things done boosts my ego like nothing else.

What creates stress is when both these stories—my stories—clash and clang, often. I’ll admit, I felt paralyzed and stuck in a plethora of negative thoughts.

If I aim to be productive, my ego tells me I am missing the opportunity to relax and take time to slow down. As unfortunate as things are, we’ll probably never get another chance to have this block of time off (of course, I’m not working, so if you are, this may not apply to you as much). If I relax, the guilt of not doing things quickly rears its head.

The answer begins with awareness

Crisis or not, awareness is always a great place to begin.

While popular opinion says sleep in, setting an alarm might work better for you.

While some say increase your marketing, spending time with your little ones might be more important.

Or perhaps, doing some of both.

A great way to begin is to find stillness, be present, and just observe.

Observing and accepting what works for you will show you how much structure you need and how much to let go, not what sounds good either to your ego or compared to others.

Now more than ever, as you try to cope and adapt, this time can serve as a reset. It is not without good reason that we learn our best lessons in the most difficult times.

So while you’re waiting for things to go back to normal, decide what kind of normal you want to go back to.