And I think:
I am intrigued by Ms Oliver’s words, stated in reference to Edgar Allen Poe’s short story The Tell-Tale Heart, in which an unnamed narrator kills an old man of whom he is fond because of a blue veil that covers one eye, one the narrator feels is evil.
Opinions vary on what the “evil eye” symbolizes, but a common thread appears to be that the narrator cannot accept the evil in his character that the veiled eye reflects, and so he chooses to kill the old man rather than change his own ways. It is in the same vein we often hurt the ones we love.
What Mary Oliver suggests in her book Upstream (as I understand it) is that to the narrator it is unbearable that the veiled eye does not acknowledge his existence, his very being, which alludes to the pain we feel when we are not seen; it is the pain of indifference.
My thoughts then wandered to our own selves, when we don’t use our own inner eye, so to speak, to acknowledge our past or our own truth be it due to denial, shame, or whatever way we feel “less”. We find it unbearable, almost always unconsciously.
Perhaps this is why self-awareness and, more importantly, accepting our shadow side—the parts of ourselves we consider ugly or unworthy—is so important. We need to truly “see” ourselves, both light and shadow and everything in between. If not, we fall short in having respect and love for ourselves, often attempting to seek them in unhealthy ways from others, and even then it doesn’t truly satisfy.
It is interesting to note that ancient Egyptians believed in Horus, the all-seeing falcon god, and to this day it is a symbol of protection from evil for modern Egyptians.
We may not have a blue veil covering our eyes, but when we don’t acknowledge what is to be seen, because it is too difficult, we lose the opportunity to learn from it; we are pulling down that veil ourselves.
Instead, it is much better to move forward with eyes wide open.
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