I quote, therefore I think: Understanding the pattern

And I think:

A lot of what I’m reading lately seems to focus on understanding. Or perhaps I am? It’s like how you notice red cars more often when you get a red car yourself.

The concept of understanding is like the shy, unassuming kid in the back corner of the class; he does the work you ask, doesn’t give you any trouble, and generally fades from notice, so you tend to forget about him.

But it is, I’m learning, the key to change; to eventually, peacefully, finally ending the numerous battles—one at a time—in our ongoing war with ourselves.

Understanding is not only going back to the root, the why and how, but also your awareness and acknowledgement of your own why, your reaction in situations that did not go as expected, where you felt disappointment, anger, defeat, or despair.

Understanding feels trivial. We tend to have set beliefs because we already “know”, and therefore don’t see the need to understand. Also, it doesn’t change the outcome of undesirable situations, so why bother?

But if you take time to notice your patterns, like: if the same type of disappointments keep showing up; if you keep finding yourself in that dark, defeated, yuck place; if all the hard work you’ve put in seems to lead to nothing; or you simply wish to handle the hard challenges with more grace and resilience:

— it’s time to examine what you’ve always thought and see if it still holds true. (Be honest.)

— it’s time to observe your reactions, thoughts and feelings, and watch them with a little distance and without any judgement.

— it’s time to face what you’ve been avoiding, to let those feelings flow through so they don’t hold so much power over you. After all, they are powerful precisely because you resist them so greatly.

When understanding dawns, light pours in and you see things a bit differently.

When you see things differently, you begin to do things differently.

And whether you knew it or not, that just might be the change you were looking for all this time.