What builds the bridge between knowing how to work with fear and actually doing it?
Lately, in the talks I’m listening to, in the books I’m reading, I find myself zoning in on how to work with fear (because we all know there’s no such thing as getting rid of it all together, like bank fees or bad hair days).
Here are a few things I’ve noted, things I’m tossing, turning, trying.
Feels Like The First Time
Jon Acuff talks about doing things like it’s the first time, over and over again. If you travel frequently, for example, by the third or fourth time you’d get the hang of what you need to pack. Your favorite shirts, your travel toothbrush, your comfy shoes.
Imagine if you had to get the hang of it each time – staring at your closet and wondering which clothes to pack, waffling over which shoes or toothbrush to take?
This is what happens when the same old fear threatens to tackle you down, and you haven’t figured out a way to keep yourself from feeling down for weeks, binge on junk food or simply give up.
If there’s a fear that’s an old favorite (especially the small ones), maybe it’s time to look for your patterns and disrupt them.
Where Do We Go From Here
What do you do? What plans do you make?
Chris Brogan says any plan, even if it’s not perfect. But, a plan.
Then change it as you need.
How Deep Is Your Love
Michael Singer wrote The Untethered Soul (bestseller), and The Surrender Experiment (a bestseller to be, most likely). I haven’t read either of his books.
But I did hear his interview. His discussion on how we can live a better life if we operate from a deeper level is, well…deep. The fears, the seemingly endless mind chatter – these reside at a lower level, where we make our bed and then complain we have to lay in it.
The hard work is getting to the deeper part. This doesn’t mean getting rid of fear, just moving past it so it’s in the background while you shift to a better life. He talked about this in the context of meditation too.
For a long while I thought meditation helps you silence the outside world, when what it really does (at least, this is how I understood it) is help you be silent while the outside world stays noisy. This may be a small difference, but it felt big to me. It meant, it means, I cannot wait to get rid of my fear and then do what I need to do, but move forward despite it.
(If you’d like to hear his interview, check it out here. He explains it much better than I did.)
I like learning from the wisdom of others, but again, knowing is not enough.
What’s next? How do I use it to make my life better?
By surrounding myself with people (and things) I choose, that are positive, useful, inspirational, encouraging. Even if it’s the same thing, you never know when hearing it in different ways or at different times can make it stick.
By going deeper, because swimming in shallow waters hasn’t ever brought me change, or meaning. You?
By letting better voices drown out the inner critic that is forever at the ready to bring me down.
By accepting it will not be easy, that it will take time, and it will take work (the difficult part). By realizing that the alternative is giving in to fear and settling in life.
Knowing this, I do what I can, even a tiny bit, every day, while looking fear in the face, and say – I’m turning down the volume.
This is a very awesome posy Ritu,
If you allow fear to control you , I can really do you a lot of damages.
One man once told me that o should always do what I’m afraid of doing and that way, fear will eventually die off.
I agree with the fact that it’s better to be doing whatever we should do even if its small small, bit by bit provided we’re getting it done.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks, Theodore. Yes, often small is all we can manage without getting overwhelmed and giving up. Wish you well in your endeavors!