EVER GIVEN SERIOUS thought to the way you talk to yourself?
What’s the voice inside your head like? Is it cheerful, encouraging, optimistic? Or does it say you’re not good enough, that things will surely go wrong? Is it mom? Dad?
The inner language we employ has a lot to do with what we think of ourselves, what we think we’re worth and what we’re capable of. There are several ways we limit ourselves, but a limiting inner voice hangs out near the start line.
Consider the words you use daily, the ones you’re immune to or hardly notice they are so minor. All that “hate” adds up. I hate how I look; I hate that so-and-so is successful, and I’m not. Next thing you know, what was once a visiting foreigner now blends in with the locals. It becomes part of your inner language.
The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.
~ MARCUS AURELIUS, Stoic philosopher
Wouldn’t it be more useful (and frankly, a relief) to turn that negativity into something more positive, or at the very least, neutralize it? Wouldn’t it feel better to not let that inside voice constantly trigger a reaction? Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, look at your own life and be grateful for all that you do have.
TRY THIS SHIFT
The next time your inner voice (also fondly referred to as the inner critic) gets loud and bossy, change up your language. A few select words can make all the difference.
Inner voice: I can’t stand my co-worker, Debbie.
Better: Debbie and I don’t see eye to eye in many situations.
Even better: I need to focus on my work, and not let negative thoughts take over.
Inner voice: It’s no use. Some people have all the luck. I’ll never make it at this rate.
Better: I need to work hard, be smart and create my own luck. Luck doesn’t last long without effort.
Inner voice: I can’t change. This is what I’ve believed in since I was a kid.
Better: If it’s not working, not changing will cause more harm than good.
Even better: I see it’s not working, so I need to try something different. Who knows, it may turn out better than I expected!
Dealing with the inner critic is not easy; even the best find it challenging. I doubt any method can completely shut it out. The aim is to make small tweaks so you can stand taller when facing the critic.
Beating yourself down with your negative thoughts serves no one, nor does it serve you when you place blame. It shrinks you when what you really want is to expand. Changing your language patterns liberates you to grow.
BENEFIT
Less negativity/more positivity builds courage and confidence, and over time, resilience, in the face of challenges.
Shifts to a better perspective to help solve problems rather than dwell on them.
Positively affects self-worth.
***This is an excerpt from my book, The Light Shift: 21 Simple Ways to Make Your Days Interesting, Get Unstuck and Beat the Daily Grind. If you haven’t checked it out yet, grab a copy for the price of a fancy coffee at http://amzn.to/1EuJApg. Want a free copy? Hit reply and ask me how!
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