Finding your way back vs moving forward

One of the most paralyzing pieces of advice I’ve heard most of my life is: if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there.

It comes in different versions, but the implication is the same; it is critical to know exactly where you’re going first, then work backward and figure out how to get there.

Let’s just say I’ve decided to chuck this little nugget back into the pot of conventional wisdom, and label it “Use with caution”.

The problem is that it assumes you are crystal clear on what you want. This certainly works in some situations. If you know you want better grades in school or make an apple pie, figuring out the how is fairly clear. It might be challenging, it might mean developing new skills, but the path is well-trod.

The fact is that you don’t always know what you want, especially if it has long-term implications, like choosing a career track for example; or if you no longer want the things you did in the past because circumstances changed, or you changed; or if you’ve reached a crossroads in life and are unsure how to proceed.

Meaning, you don’t always know your end goal far into the future. Or, as in my case, feel that the very idea of having to know every last detail paralyzes instead of encourages.

This is where common wisdom feels off, falls short, and frankly, hurts more than it helps.

After much trial and error, my experience attests to that. And so does the alternative.

Instead of working backward from a goal for the future, you can work forward from what’s promising in the present.

It means that instead of focusing on the lack of clarity for a future goal and the fear or hopelessness that might stem from that, you focus on your present situation. You assess what’s working for you right now, and by consequence, what choices led you here (never underestimate the power of keen and honest reflection), and see where can you find purchase from here, with things as they are.

Does this mean you shrug all responsibility, nor have any idea whatsoever about you’re aiming toward? Absolutely not.

It means heading in the general direction of the shore, but spending your energy on adjusting the sails on your ship, because that is within your reach at this moment.

Working backwards from your goal works wonderfully when your goals are clear and concrete and—typically—short-term, like improving your grades or baking a pie. Then you’re talking exact measurements and a set sequence of steps.

I don’t know about you, but I find that life has an uncanny habit of presenting situations that don’t always have clear cut, linear answers.

When dealing with complex or intangible issues, like working through limiting beliefs, building emotional resilience, or adopting better habits; or for when you only have clarity on what you don’t want but not so much on what you do, it’s nice to have options.

Working forward is a better alternative to paralysis when you don’t have the right answer, right away. It asks you to consider possibilities in the now, and gives you permission to experiment, to explore and to use reality-based evidence to take your next step instead of trying to perfectly plan the next twenty.

An added bonus is a deeper self-awareness and the excavation of what truly matters to you.

Working forward takes faith and a little daring.

It takes accepting uncertainty and making your peace with not knowing.

It takes doing your part but trusting in something bigger. Things you never expected might show up on your path, a path that will—eventually—become clear, as long as you keep moving forward.