You don’t begin to tackle a big mess by organizing. First, you delcutter. You get rid of the unnecessary and the useless. Then, you organize.
The same goes for increasing your energy.
I’ve been thinking about energy a lot lately. It started, as usual, when I was feeling stuck, trying to find more of it.
We’re so focused on managing time but don’t think much about energy. It doesn’t take my tired, stressed and frustrated mind long to knock over the first domino before it starts to affect every aspect of life.
It wasn’t so much about finding time, or getting things done (although that’s how it started). The energy I was looking for was a deeper, more central well I could draw from, and not just mental, but physical and emotional as well.
One interesting thing I noticed in the process is how my perspective of (personal) energy changed. I went from thinking about energy as a textbook, academic concept to the realization it is a real thing, something I am affected by every single moment of every single day.
But more – more coffee, more stuff, more willpower – are not always the answer. I tried.
If I notice a low energy pattern, not just an occasional dip, I know I have to tackle the drains first.
Less drains, more fountains.
A few of the usual suspects are:
-following tradition
Aka “this is the way it’s always been done in this family/company/relationship/my past”. It takes courage to step back and take an honest look to see if “it” is working, and if not, ask where is it failing. The right mindset affects everything that follows.
-ignoring effects of self-care basics
“Yes, but” has to be addressed, because it’s the first response when we slack on making better choices in what to eat, how much we exercise and – the big one – getting enough sleep. If I was indeed slacking, it was usually followed by a “yes, but”. First things first, get back to basics.
-muti-tasking
So, so glamorous, and much fodder for bragging rights. I tried, failed, and stepped out of the arena. I couldn’t even compete. One thing at a time for me.
-forgetting honesty and ownership
I think a part of us always want to win at seeking approval. But choices made just for the sake of impressing others eventually become relentless sources of unrest. Getting honest with yourself takes work, and so does owning it.
-making room for toxic people
We all have them in our lives, the energy drainers that constantly leave us feeling negative, or try to suck us into their drama. Theirs is a game you don’t want to win, and the less time and attention you give them, the better.
-big changes, overnight
This is only partly true. I have made some big changes, but the only way I could was to start making little changes. Little steps, small shifts. Be warned, there’s danger of losing hope, doubting yourself (constantly), getting impatient and feeling scared. But slowly and surely, little steps add up. You don’t have to have everything figured out; you can do that along the way.
-doing it all
What exactly is “all”? Only when you define it and evaluate its true significance can you find what it means to you. Needs and wants change, but limiting beliefs are slower to follow suit. Sometimes we put things on a list for the wrong reasons. If we were to get more honest about what truly matters to us, we wouldn’t spend so much energy trying to chase the wrong things, or getting distracted easily.
These things may not sound like they’re a good trade off because they require a lot of work. And none of them are a one-time deal either, because it really comes down to a practice, a system, and eventually, a habit.
But there it is: a choice of where you want to focus your energy. Failures will come from either direction, but I’d rather have the dominoes falling toward the one that helps me win more often than not.
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