Do the right things, right now

Do the right things, right now.

That’s it.

Can it get any simpler than that? I don’t think so.

It’s a reality check, a centering breath, a tough love reminder, a swift kick in the rear and a sobering mantra all rolled into one.

And yet, we resist.

When you know what to do, problems that arise don’t faze you all that much. When you don’t know what to do, fear and uncertainty dictate your every move, or lack thereof.

For example, when you have your first kid, every tiny sound or move that feels off-textbook sets off your alarms as loud as a giant church bell. By your second or fourth, you barely bat an eyelash at the daily cacophony and the five-second rule is a rule of life.

You go from not knowing in a complex life situation to getting a good handle on things, relatively speaking (as far as complex situations go, parenting definitely fits the bill). To say there’s uncertainty in the parenting journey is an understatement.

And where there’s uncertainty, there’s fear.

Our brain excels at manufacturing doomsday scenarios. Or, it demands that only a perfect solution that solves the problem completely and neatly is the only way out.

Your first day at a new job or with an intimidating boss. An unexpected diagnosis. Your first pandemic. Fear tells us it wants all the answers, right now, or all is lost. Each problem seems large and impossible.

Somehow, we forget about our own responsibility, the one thing we always have control over.

It is responsibility we take on when our child needs us. Even if you don’t know why your baby stays up all night and sleeps all day, you still change her diaper and feed her no matter how much you fret you’re doing something wrong or she’s falling ill with a mysterious disease or possibly turning into a vampire. You still do what needs to be done.

So why do we forget this when it comes to dealing with our own problems?

Taking responsibility is where we have control.

We don’t have the luxury of knowing exactly what to do all the time. New problems and unexpected situations test us frequently, and most of the time they are complex and layered without quick, clear, straight-shot answers.

What do you do?

Do the right things, right now.

This does not include efforts, no matter how valiant, to predict or control the future, to worry, obsess or brood.

The right thing can mean looking at the big, complex problem and breaking it apart into smaller ones, then dealing with the ones you’re facing right now, first.

Decide what the right things are, and do those things, as small or big as you can handle. The doing replaces the fear, and staying in the now replaces the uncertainty.

Then do the next, and the next one after that.

Take your time. Take a few breaths.

Right now, if you do the right things, it will be enough.