I've lied about being a fast learner on my resume. Okay, maybe it wasn't a total lie, because I have learned a few things pretty fast. Like what people want to read on a resume. Years later and a bit wiser, I've decided to give myself permission to be slow. What I mean by that is I recognize that when I learn something slowly, it tends to stick, sink in deeper and stick around longer, and I am okay with it. In fact, most of my hard-earned life lessons have come about this … [Read more...]
So, are you doing hard things?
Today, I got rejected 7 times, and counted 2 wins in my favor. One of the rejections was (felt) personal. I don't keep score as a rule, but on this day I did. After hearing one no after another, I could feel myself slipping. I kept reminding myself of the wins, of taking one step at a time, and just doing my best. I'd love to pretend things like that roll off my back but that would be a lie. They hurt. Even if there's no big problem to fret over, the little ones can gang up on you if … [Read more...]
Who Is Your Villain Of The Day?
You're supposed to be the hero of your life. But how often do you play the villain instead? I've done it more than I'd care to admit, and needless to say, it totally messes up how I want the story to go. Here's the spoiler: If I tackle a challenge or things don't go the way I want, instead of grabbing my hero cape or wand or stylish-yet-comfortable black boots, I hold the door wide open to fear and self-doubt. This twofer villain waltzes right in and gets to work, attacking confidence … [Read more...]
21 Ways to Step Up Success in 2016
There's something about the fresh slate of a new year that's so inviting. Possibilities seem more possible, success more achievable. This is the year for me! Things are gonna happen! Truth is, each day, each week, each hour is a chance to start over. But when we're caught up in our stuff, when there's no countdown or a ball drop or a champagne toast, it doesn't seem special enough to take it seriously. Why start now? Can I just quit? But hey, it IS a new year, so there's no reason not to … [Read more...]
On Scoring Critical Wins With Your Inner Critic
I've hated myself over many things. I'd tell you, but why feed the beast? Getting that voice inside our heads to behave, now that's the tricky part. It starts young, this voice, this critic. It's like we were never set up to win. At least not long after we were kids. At some point it hits you, this delicate balance, the fine yet blurry line. This critic crosses over ever so smoothly, from the protective arm across your chest as you hit the brakes to gripping you so hard it bruises your … [Read more...]
This is What Consistency Looks Like
Many talk about consistency, but few show what it looks like. Consistency is the open secret in the secret sauce. It's the short, polished part in the movie with the inspiring music as the hero prepares to meet the enemy. It's what you need to learn Italian, deal with your inner critic, start each day with meditation, or make the daily green smoothie a habit. I, for one, would like to have a better idea of what I'm looking for. You know, what it really is, the nitty gritty, unpolished … [Read more...]
Generosity and Free Aren’t the Same Thing
My friend Joel is a smart cookie, so in appreciation I stole his line about generosity and free not being the same thing. I hope we stay friends. I often find free to be tricky. Free can mean a taste, a sample, a sneak peak, but sometimes it's just dismissible. I don't need any koozies with giant logos, thank you. But generosity is hard to dismiss. It can be free (thanks Joel), or it can be more than what you paid for, more than what you expected. As in hand-me-downs if your kids don't … [Read more...]
How To Be A Superhero
I DIDN'T GROW up wanting to be a superhero. The cape, the special powers, the skin tight outfit...they were fun, but always a fantasy, separate from real life, the right now. Right now, life is happening. And just like back then, all I have at my disposal are my human powers. Like the ability to sometimes leap over small doubts, the power to turn green (with envy) when I feel I’m not succeeding, and the letter emblazoned on my chest is a big 'F', for Fragile. I do my best to keep that … [Read more...]
The 10-Step Take-Charge Guide To Conquering The Overwhelm of HARD WORK
WHEN CONSIDERING MAKING a big change or starting a project, my first hurdle is getting over the overwhelm at the (long) path ahead of me. Maybe you've felt the same, and can recognize the signs. (OMG) That's a lot of hard work! This thought is either accompanied by mild panic or a sinking feeling in my stomach, depending on what the case might be. Your brain starts spouting things like this is too difficult, there's no way I can do this, or it's tooooooo much for me to handle. Before you … [Read more...]
From Small Steps To Big Change (And How To Keep It Going)
Some days you lose all faith. You want to quit, toss over a desk or two, walk away, and never look back. You begin to question if all the effort was ever worth it, if it made any real difference. Maybe you drank the 'small steps, big change' cool aid and fooled yourself into believing - at least, in the moment - that your hard work will give you the results that you're looking for, bring you happiness or recognition or meaning or money. Then things got hard. Really, really … [Read more...]