THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT 9:30pm that always gets me in trouble. The kids are in bed, dinner was a couple hours ago, and then, almost like clockwork, the craving comes. Dessert. In the grand scheme of things, this is a small, insignificant problem. But at 9:30pm, after a tough day at work, a sweat-fest at the gym and plopping down on the couch to relax, the chatter inside my head gets louder, logic gets thinner, and suddenly, I'm in a battle of wills. But you promised to cut back on … [Read more...]
When Is The Right Time For Change?
TWO WHOLE MINUTES. I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe I did it. I was on Week 3 of the Couch to 5K running plan, and I had just run for two minutes straight. It was a wonderful, proud moment. I smiled so big and felt like a badass. I looked around at the gym, and no one noticed. I didn't care. I was here, I was off that dang couch, and I was excited. Those 30 pounds were going to come off; I was going to make sure of it. Running changed my life. I didn't know it would, but when you're … [Read more...]
Fitting In Is Old News. Belonging Is The New Black
REMEMBER WHEN YOU were a teenager, what a big deal it was if you didn't get invited to a party with the cool kids? Or if your best friend went to a movie with her "new" friends without you? Oh, the pain. The hurt. The awful, awful feeling of being left out. You can't even. You'd hole up in your room, depressed, and listen to sad songs, or maybe you'd get upset at your BFF (how could she!) and decide to ignore her. For a week, at least. On the outside, you'd act like it was no big deal. … [Read more...]
From Small Steps To Big Change (And How To Keep It Going)
Some days you lose all faith. You want to quit, toss over a desk or two, walk away, and never look back. You begin to question if all the effort was ever worth it, if it made any real difference. Maybe you drank the 'small steps, big change' cool aid and fooled yourself into believing - at least, in the moment - that your hard work will give you the results that you're looking for, bring you happiness or recognition or meaning or money. Then things got hard. Really, really … [Read more...]
The Key to Changing Your Life, Paulo Coelho, and Letting It Go
CLICK. After about a hundred doors over what seemed like a hundred years, the key fit into the lock. And the door opened. At least, that's what it felt like. It finally hit me: I don't need a reason to walk away, other than the fact that it just wasn't the right fit. No more trying to push, pry, knock or wait outside patiently, hoping. It just wasn't the right door. Or the kind of friendship that was going to last. Or the relationship that survived. Or the job … [Read more...]
Why (Real) Change Is An Inside Job
IT'S HARD TO let go of seeing something in a way you've always seen it. I recently came across this story: Imagine that you go to a doctor and tell her about the pain you're having. She listens attentively, and then proceeds to prescribe medicine for your friend. You say, "That's great", and go on your merry way. How absurd is that? But that's what we do so often; we want something other than us to change-a friend, a spouse, a boss--then life would be great. When my day tanks, … [Read more...]
Are You Waiting For (Your Next) Crisis?
AS MUCH AS I dislike having a personal crisis of any kind (I mean, who doesn't?), I admit most have done me a lot of good. Nothing quite transforms you like getting through your worst and most difficult moments. We’ve all heard about that drop in the ocean. One drop. What’s one drop? What’s one extra pound on the scale? That one bit of juicy gossip, that one small excuse. Does one really even count? Maybe not. One is no. big. deal. But what if I want to make one real change, even … [Read more...]
How Much Freedom Do You Already Have?
I WAS HAVING a heart-to-heart with a trusted friend about an upsetting work situation. While relaying my frustrations, I caught myself spouting the words "I can't" ever so frequently. I can't do this, I can't do that because of this, that and the other. I was seeking advice on how to move forward, but my friend paused for a moment and slim-dropped a question instead:"Don't you know how much freedom you already have?" Not the question-answer I was expecting. My instinct was to … [Read more...]
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