You're making a mistake. This time, it wasn't subtle, or a suggestion. I heard it loud and clear. A couple of years ago, I sat my parents down and told them about my intention to sell my practice. I wanted to do other things, and when the time was right, or should I say, better than right away, I was going to do it. Make the mistake, I mean. It was a classic parental response, maybe one you've heard too. Protecting the cub and all that. An understandable, if predictable … [Read more...]
How to Conquer the Inconvenience of a Good Habit
The gym is an awful, awful place. Not because I hate going, but it's February and the new-resolutioners have been in season for weeks. Now don't get me wrong, I'm no hater. I was new once. And I wish each and every person success with their fitness. But you and I both know that soon, only a fraction will stick around. They will have found their groove, time in their schedule and good gym manners. Maybe one day, we'll even become friends. I applaud this tenacious bunch. Making … [Read more...]
To You Who Wants More Energy (Because You Don’t Have Time)
I once read that we humans are so invested in making the “right” decision that even if we find we don’t like the path we have chosen, we hang in there for dear life. That’s how much we don’t like change, and resist it as much as possible. I found myself reading it a few times to let the meaning sink in, and because I like to be right as often as I can (okay, always). The author of that line, Susan Jeffers, continued on to bring up a good point - if something is not “right” anymore, there … [Read more...]
On Scoring Critical Wins With Your Inner Critic
I've hated myself over many things. I'd tell you, but why feed the beast? Getting that voice inside our heads to behave, now that's the tricky part. It starts young, this voice, this critic. It's like we were never set up to win. At least not long after we were kids. At some point it hits you, this delicate balance, the fine yet blurry line. This critic crosses over ever so smoothly, from the protective arm across your chest as you hit the brakes to gripping you so hard it bruises your … [Read more...]
When The In-Crowd Wants You Out
I sat down at the kitchen table, taking the only remaining spot. The others seemed oblivious to my presence, and the conversation continued without missing a beat. It felt awkward. Dinner party or not, it reminded me of high school days when you were either in our out, not a gathering of worldly thirty and forty somethings. Funny how that still stings, even if for a bit. That desire to be seen, to be heard, to be included - the one we try to be so nonchalant about - doesn't go away. We … [Read more...]
The Plan To End The Plans That Didn’t Work
A few years ago, I decided to declutter my closet. I made time, sorted my things, and even took the nicer clothes to a consignment store by my house. I felt pretty proud (look at me, so productive!). After sifting through my clothes, the guy at the counter came back and said, "Ma'am, thank you, but we cannot accept these. These are a little mature for us." Only after my mild embarrassment subsided did I realize that the 20-somethings who frequented the store wouldn't want my non-trendy, … [Read more...]
How To Work With Fear – 3 Plans of Action
What builds the bridge between knowing how to work with fear and actually doing it? Lately, in the talks I’m listening to, in the books I’m reading, I find myself zoning in on how to work with fear (because we all know there’s no such thing as getting rid of it all together, like bank fees or bad hair days). Here are a few things I've noted, things I'm tossing, turning, trying. Feels Like The First Time Jon Acuff talks about doing things like it’s the first time, over and over again. If … [Read more...]
How To Navigate The Seduction of Convenience
This change you want to make. The one you put off for a long while. It seemed simple, but somehow became a lot of work. You’re not sure how to make it happen, if you’ll ever succeed. It’s confusing you, testing you, asking you to show up day after day. It’s leaving you in a lull or feeling unsure, and making you work for it whether you like it or not. With no guarantees. Not that that matters. There are no guarantees, really, at least that’s what I’m learning. The world keeps changing, and … [Read more...]
How a 20/20/20 Routine Changed My Mornings
This is a guest post by Scott Gardiner, and a testament to how small changes can add up to make a big difference. Enjoy! I used to wake up in the mornings like a lion with a thorn in his paw. I would creak and groan out of bed like I was much older than I actually was, and I dreaded the morning. I'm still not a huge fan of the alarm ringing in the morning, but some things have changed. My morning routine use to be: Wake up at the last minute possible Shuffle off to see my son … [Read more...]
How To Shift When Your Inner Critic Gets Loud and Bossy
EVER GIVEN SERIOUS thought to the way you talk to yourself? What’s the voice inside your head like? Is it cheerful, encouraging, optimistic? Or does it say you’re not good enough, that things will surely go wrong? Is it mom? Dad? The inner language we employ has a lot to do with what we think of ourselves, what we think we’re worth and what we’re capable of. There are several ways we limit ourselves, but a limiting inner voice hangs out near the start line. Consider the words … [Read more...]