You're supposed to be the hero of your life. But how often do you play the villain instead? I've done it more than I'd care to admit, and needless to say, it totally messes up how I want the story to go. Here's the spoiler: If I tackle a challenge or things don't go the way I want, instead of grabbing my hero cape or wand or stylish-yet-comfortable black boots, I hold the door wide open to fear and self-doubt. This twofer villain waltzes right in and gets to work, attacking confidence … [Read more...]
21 Ways to Step Up Success in 2016
There's something about the fresh slate of a new year that's so inviting. Possibilities seem more possible, success more achievable. This is the year for me! Things are gonna happen! Truth is, each day, each week, each hour is a chance to start over. But when we're caught up in our stuff, when there's no countdown or a ball drop or a champagne toast, it doesn't seem special enough to take it seriously. Why start now? Can I just quit? But hey, it IS a new year, so there's no reason not to … [Read more...]
To You Who Wants More Energy (Because You Don’t Have Time)
I once read that we humans are so invested in making the “right” decision that even if we find we don’t like the path we have chosen, we hang in there for dear life. That’s how much we don’t like change, and resist it as much as possible. I found myself reading it a few times to let the meaning sink in, and because I like to be right as often as I can (okay, always). The author of that line, Susan Jeffers, continued on to bring up a good point - if something is not “right” anymore, there … [Read more...]
On Scoring Critical Wins With Your Inner Critic
I've hated myself over many things. I'd tell you, but why feed the beast? Getting that voice inside our heads to behave, now that's the tricky part. It starts young, this voice, this critic. It's like we were never set up to win. At least not long after we were kids. At some point it hits you, this delicate balance, the fine yet blurry line. This critic crosses over ever so smoothly, from the protective arm across your chest as you hit the brakes to gripping you so hard it bruises your … [Read more...]
This is What Consistency Looks Like
Many talk about consistency, but few show what it looks like. Consistency is the open secret in the secret sauce. It's the short, polished part in the movie with the inspiring music as the hero prepares to meet the enemy. It's what you need to learn Italian, deal with your inner critic, start each day with meditation, or make the daily green smoothie a habit. I, for one, would like to have a better idea of what I'm looking for. You know, what it really is, the nitty gritty, unpolished … [Read more...]
Generosity and Free Aren’t the Same Thing
My friend Joel is a smart cookie, so in appreciation I stole his line about generosity and free not being the same thing. I hope we stay friends. I often find free to be tricky. Free can mean a taste, a sample, a sneak peak, but sometimes it's just dismissible. I don't need any koozies with giant logos, thank you. But generosity is hard to dismiss. It can be free (thanks Joel), or it can be more than what you paid for, more than what you expected. As in hand-me-downs if your kids don't … [Read more...]
When The In-Crowd Wants You Out
I sat down at the kitchen table, taking the only remaining spot. The others seemed oblivious to my presence, and the conversation continued without missing a beat. It felt awkward. Dinner party or not, it reminded me of high school days when you were either in our out, not a gathering of worldly thirty and forty somethings. Funny how that still stings, even if for a bit. That desire to be seen, to be heard, to be included - the one we try to be so nonchalant about - doesn't go away. We … [Read more...]
The Plan To End The Plans That Didn’t Work
A few years ago, I decided to declutter my closet. I made time, sorted my things, and even took the nicer clothes to a consignment store by my house. I felt pretty proud (look at me, so productive!). After sifting through my clothes, the guy at the counter came back and said, "Ma'am, thank you, but we cannot accept these. These are a little mature for us." Only after my mild embarrassment subsided did I realize that the 20-somethings who frequented the store wouldn't want my non-trendy, … [Read more...]
How To Work With Fear – 3 Plans of Action
What builds the bridge between knowing how to work with fear and actually doing it? Lately, in the talks I’m listening to, in the books I’m reading, I find myself zoning in on how to work with fear (because we all know there’s no such thing as getting rid of it all together, like bank fees or bad hair days). Here are a few things I've noted, things I'm tossing, turning, trying. Feels Like The First Time Jon Acuff talks about doing things like it’s the first time, over and over again. If … [Read more...]
How To Navigate The Seduction of Convenience
This change you want to make. The one you put off for a long while. It seemed simple, but somehow became a lot of work. You’re not sure how to make it happen, if you’ll ever succeed. It’s confusing you, testing you, asking you to show up day after day. It’s leaving you in a lull or feeling unsure, and making you work for it whether you like it or not. With no guarantees. Not that that matters. There are no guarantees, really, at least that’s what I’m learning. The world keeps changing, and … [Read more...]