I quit believing in big resolutions a long time ago, that magical fantasy where I miraculously start or stop doing something practically overnight and, just like in the movies, my dreams come true. Big resolutions don’t work. We all know it, and we keep doing it. Maybe massive, sweeping change works for some people, but it never did for me. Somewhere early on the fantasy crumbled and turned into cookie crumbs in my palms, which never happens in the movies. And from what I hear, I'm not … [Read more...]
When bumps on the road leave you rattled (10 steps)
When bumps in the road leave you rattled, consider the following ideas, in steps: 1. less denial and more awareness 2. taking a moment and a few deep breaths 3 . owning your reality, not what it should be 4. being (really) honest with yourself 5. listening to the voice inside (no, not that one, the other one) 6. simplifying the immediate as best possible, even for a little bit 7. finding support where you have it 8. loving yourself (firmly if needed, but always with … [Read more...]
How to stumble into success
Tell me, Do you ever put Netflix on your calendar? Do you pencil in 'eat half a pie' in your appointment book? How about a daily alert on your phone to surf Facebook? Blow off yoga on your to-do list? Probably not. Because you don't need to. This ain't your first rodeo. You've climbed that mountain. You've got mad skillz. You may even have better metaphors. In fact, you could show an entire crowd of adoring fans how it's done because it comes naturally to you. … [Read more...]
Waiting for a special occasion? Stop treating priorities like parties.
Yesterday, I drove past a house with Christmas lights already up in the yard. It's the first week of November. Today, it occurred to me: we can judge all we want, but that homeowner has priorities. Getting those lights up was important enough for him/her to incur the head-shaking of passing drivers and the silent judgy wrath of neighbors. That's what we do when we make something a priority. We look beyond what others might think. We make time even when we don't think it's the "right" … [Read more...]
7 Ways to tackle the overwhelm of building good habits
"I have trouble sleeping. I think it's stress," a friend of a friend told me. I rattled off my go-to suggestions in an effort to help. Exercise. Meditation. Lay down on the floor with your legs up against the wall for 20 minutes (a yoga teacher I know swears by this). She gave me a nod and a rueful half-smile, conveyed the usual sequence of feelings; agreement, because she already knew the answers, guilt for not doing what she knew will help, and shame that she probably still won't. Her … [Read more...]
Why you can’t just “let it go” (and how you can)
I've been thinking a lot about fear lately. My choices, my decisions, my reactions, my expectations. The experiences I've had, the things I've said yes to, no to, or worried about in between before deciding yes or no, well, fear has had a role. Sometimes a starring role. Big whoop. So who doesn't have fear? But even after knowing we all have fear in common, our problems are still here, waiting for us. Knowing may help me feel better for a bit, but after a while I get lost in the what ifs … [Read more...]
When you build “good” habits but lose the joy
When you're at a restaurant and look at the menu, how do you choose what to order? What you're in the mood for, or to satisfy a craving, perhaps? I usually try to pick something healthy, but don't always succeed. I used to know this guy who had a tough childhood and always picked whatever was cheapest. Hey, we all have our rules. Maybe it feels good to save some cash and order the least expensive dish on the menu, but not so much if it's poorly prepared or tastes terrible (sometimes, the … [Read more...]
When other people’s advice doesn’t work
The shoes looked fantastic. On sale, and they had my size. My little arrow hovered over them, and after staring, debating, picturing them with my best jeans, I hit the 'x' and left the site. In my efforts to accumulate less stuff and occasionally flirting with minimalism, I gave myself a pat on the back. Those shoes were really, really cute. But a sigh later, I went to bed. A couple of weeks ago, I was looking at my book wish list (which keeps growing), and in the mood I was in, … [Read more...]
How to keep a negative mindset from ruining positive results
It's infuriating how easily negative thoughts can take over if you let them. I can do a phenomenal job of making them feel at home. Once those roots are planted, you almost feel like a traitor if you try to kick them out. Of course, we all know that that's not a good thing, but when you're stuck in the mire of worry, anxiety, self-flagellation or any variety of negative emotion when life doesn't to go your way, sometimes it's difficult to see clearly. We all have to take our punches, but … [Read more...]
How saying no can create breakthroughs
A few days ago, I said the best 'no' I've said in a long time. What made this so special? It's a simple word after all, and practically anyone is capable of saying it any time they want. And yet, it was. I was able to say it with confidence, grace and a smile, without a hint of negative energy behind it. And the fact it came naturally, even before I realized it, well I call that progress. Here I was, sitting in a nice restaurant, having a lovely time with my brother and both our … [Read more...]
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