And I think: This realization was my biggest shift forward in the past year. And the fact that I ran across these words in a book that marked the beginning of my journey of awakening a decade ago (sounds dramatic, I know, and it was) is a sign I took from the Universe stating a joyful, head-tilted Yeah, I exist. I tossed with, tugged at, raged against, wept for, begged and pleaded with the darkest dark for answers to the BIG questions of my life. We all have our BIG questions, … [Read more...]

Whether you love making lists or rarely bother, here's a list you need to put waaaay on top of all others. No, it's not a to-do, to-don't, top 10, pros/cons or anything of the sort. Sure, those are helpful. They add sanity to your days and get you to do stuff. They make sure you don't show up to your kid's best friend's birthday party the day after. The list I'm talking about is for you and you alone. This list adds understanding to your days and gets you through struggles. It makes sure … [Read more...]

I have the hardest time letting go. Clothes that no longer fit. Books I no longer read. That blender that's the most god-awful thing to clean which was a gift from my mom. I lost my mom not long ago, but the blender remains, full of life. I try to balance all that not-letting go with common sense and practicality. I declutter and donate, recycle or give away things when they pile up to dangerous levels (but not until then). Still, it's easier with things. Not so much with thoughts, … [Read more...]

Not too long ago, I was on a path. I felt like I was doing the right thing, the smart thing. And while it had its challenges, I reminded myself that's how life goes. All the books say that to succeed, you know where you want to go. You make a plan. You get on a path. I had doubts occasionally, as one does, but friends and family reminded me that's normal. We all get nervous or scared at times. But having a path to rely on and get back to can give you a sense of comfort and … [Read more...]

If I could go back and give my younger self some advice, this would be it. I wholeheartedly believe that no matter what deep insight or wisdom we desperately seek in our life, we won't heed it—even if it smacks us on the nose—until we are truly ready to receive it. Maybe it was my time, and maybe I was finally ready, but the very idea of overwhelming the negative by increasing the positive stopped me in my tracks. I will admit, it defied my comprehension for a good while, immediately … [Read more...]

** This is my 100th post on riturao.com! ** Elizabeth Gilbert says we need to give our mind a job to do, or else it will find a job to do, and you might not like the job it invents. I like a lot of what Gilbert has to say. She said these particular words in the context of a dog metaphor; more specifically, likening the mind to a border collie. I've never owned a border collie, but the all-too-familiar idea of a go-go-go inner critic yapped right home. When Liz (yes, we're on … [Read more...]

I've been thinking a lot about fear lately. Mostly because life's been repeatedly asking me to face it. When faced with things, I tend to turn to books. Surely, the wisdom of others who have been through the trenches has been compiled somewhere. The details might vary, but the consensus seems to be that when you're afraid, you have to face your fear. Groundbreaking, I know. But something we tend to forget in the tight grip of fear. It's a fact of life that it's easier to make … [Read more...]

We love results. We are a results-oriented culture, frequently stepping over the line into results-obsessed. We want results, and we want them to be good. Professionally, it's how we are largely evaluated. In our personal lives, results are how we often judge ourselves and decide if we're good enough. So when they fall short of expectations, we're disappointed. We falter. We place blame, or curse our luck. We think we need to improve the results. But results are not the … [Read more...]

The older we get, the more nuanced our life journey grows. While many of us aim for similar things, like a good career, marriage, family, etc., life doesn't always go as planned. Even if it does, the pursuit of similar things is still processed through a personal filter that's unique to each of us as individuals. Your personal filter is something you've always had, molded over time by your temperament, your environment and your experiences. It's how you process the world and come to view … [Read more...]

When it comes to plans, we have very stubborn beliefs. If you love plans, you love that they give your life and living structure, a direction, a purpose. Plans keep you moving. Plans make you feel secure. If you're not much of a planner, you prefer to go with the flow. Planning seems like a lot of work only to be derailed, because life rarely ever goes as planned. Just look at yesterday. Or the day before. You weren't supposed to lose that job. You weren't planning on getting divorced. And … [Read more...]