To do or not to do? That's a question the modern mind poses frequently in the space of a day. Is this something I need to do? Do I want to do this? Should I? And on and on, at times at staggering speeds and around sharp switchbacks. What we're most often looking for is success(!). Success can mean any number of things, but essentially, it means that you got what you were hoping for. If you're honest with yourself, you'll notice there have been times when getting exactly what you wanted … [Read more...]

We see a space, and on cue, rush to fill it. Our homes, our cars, our cubes, our time, our minds. The idea of space sits on a fine line; too much, and it feels lonely, scarce and desolate, triggering our human drive to avoid it all costs; too little, and we feel tight, trapped and anxious. Recognizing and creating the right amount of space sounds like the answer. Well, who has the time for that? We're usually packed and filled to the brim. And yet, there's no mistaking the appeal of … [Read more...]

One of the most paralyzing pieces of advice I've heard most of my life is: if you don't know where you're going, you'll never get there. It comes in different versions, but the implication is the same; it is critical to know exactly where you're going first, then work backward and figure out how to get there. Let's just say I've decided to chuck this little nugget back into the pot of conventional wisdom, and label it "Use with caution". The problem is that it assumes you are crystal … [Read more...]

And I think: More than a directive, this is a summoning. It is a pivotal element in what author Richard Rohr calls the second half of life. (The first half is about surviving and building a life that satisfies our superficial and social needs, while the second half is discovering that a deeper, spiritual journey is our real purpose, and for which the first-half accomplishments are inadequate and incomplete.) It is in this second half that we appreciate and make efforts to make space, … [Read more...]

Some years are about the answers, and some years are about the questions; that's something I remember reading a while ago. As it often happens with deep ideas, we don't always get their meaning till we're ready. Only after we have lived and tussled with life that we're open and humbled enough to let their wisdom sink in to our deeper self. The last few years have definitely been years of questions for me; most of them terrible and ego generated, from dark spaces of fear rather than from … [Read more...]

A clever Halloween costume or a gory horror movie is the sort of thing that can give you chills or a good fright, but nothing is scarier than the thing that you do not want to be true—especially about yourself—is in fact, very, very true. Of course, you could ignore this scary thing, or find excuses that glosses over your real but not-yet-ready-to-be-admitted discovery. Go on, it's okay. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Trust me, the truth will wait. It's not going anywhere. (But it … [Read more...]

I recently made up a project for myself: I completed a mini-study on Matisse. I checked out a dozen books from my local library for research. I took notes, studied his paintings, made rough sketches, created a rough time-and-story-line of his works, and highlights of his life and career. The whole project took about four weeks, at a relaxed pace. I did this for no other reason other than to satisfy my own interest, and created a "project" to give it a loose structure. No deadlines, no money … [Read more...]

A key turning point of life and a sure sign of maturity is when you stop running away. From whatever you've been running from for so long that you don't even remember or realize. A good clue that you've been running is that you start feeling far away from your own life and your own work. Fast or slow, at some point all that running gets exhausting. And now you're far away and can't quite figure out why you started or where you're really going. You might resent that, or figure it doesn't … [Read more...]

And I think: How wonderful to know that in my ongoing evolution— from the dark nights of the soul to the days, weeks, months, and sometimes years of slow steps and minuscule progress; to showing up day after day without reward till I understand, yet again, that showing up is what matters; to the hard-earned self-knowledge; to waking up every morning and struggling to stay in the uncertainty while I go about my days being responsible and conscientious; to face my problems … [Read more...]

No matter what goes on in the outside world, the inner work does not stop. It must not stop. Failure can grind us to a halt. Be it the mere idea of it, or the perception, or the heavy sinking feeling of experiencing it. We dig our heels in. We put our defenses on and get our weapons out, ready to inflict pain on the world or on ourselves. Or we simply stall in our helplessness, or stray off our path. Failure is an inevitable part of life, but luckily, so is learning to deal with it. At … [Read more...]