Setting the world on fire comes with risks. Unfortunately, we usually don't realize this until there's so much smoke we can't see straight. Some say that stress has a purpose, that it's an alarm clock meant to wake us up so we pay attention to what's going on in our life. In the heat of things, you may find yourself forcing things to look like they used to, demanding they turn out a certain way. Or you might wash your hands off them altogether, disengaging with a shrug and a … [Read more...]

"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him," the writer J. R. R. Tolkien advises. Our dragons are our fears. They stalk us in the day, make us sweat at night. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failing. Fear of starting something and not finishing. Again. Our calculations are typically a straight shot to immediate subtraction. And yet, as much as we say we want be rid of dragons, most times we don't really mean it. Because without fear, we believe, … [Read more...]

Wayfinding involves figuring out where we are, where we want to go and how to get there, especially when the answers are not immediately obvious. It means we have to be willing to let it take as long as it takes. That's the hard part, because it often runs counter to our modern-day cultural values of fast and easy. If we knew the answers, we would have found them already. Take a moment and think of something in your life—dealing with a significant change or challenge—where you willingly … [Read more...]

And I think: Hello Universe. I'd like to order some calm, please. You can't hear me, but I've just heaved a heavy sigh after weathering some harrowing storms these last few weeks. And while not all is settled (is it ever, though?), I learned, or rather, observed, how much of it was my own mind stirring things up, making things harder than they had to be, the inner chaos adding to the outer. When life is is chaotic, we're impatient for the calm after the storm, when our real job is to … [Read more...]

Chances are you've come across the term deliberate practice. A brainchild of psychologist Anders Ericsson, the term was born from studies on how people became experts. It then streaked a hot trail into the mainstream productivity, business and management arenas. The concept of deliberate practice—which is different, and more focused and purposeful than mere practice—is a guide, a path to improve skill and craft (within the boundaries of your natural abilities and inclinations, of course) to … [Read more...]

Limits are the barbed wire of real life. As much as we want our lives to feel limitless, inevitably we will face problems. Our quest begins with safety. Once attained, we seek comfort, then luxury. Eventually, we spill onto excess. No matter where we live on that spectrum, our need for safety never goes away. Unfortunately, neither do our problems. Solve one problem, and at some point, there's sure to be another. For many of us, the way through is fixing. We are problem-solving … [Read more...]

Many of us have secretly wished, at one time or another, for the same magical wish—the ability to survive failure, effortlessly. Because there isn't one, and for good reason. Our falls and failures are initiations; no matter how ugly, impossible or hopeless they may feel. They are doorways; opportunities to integrate more of our self, into more possibility. Does that sound too simplistic? Or is it simply romanticizing moments and events we'd rather not deal with or go through? I see … [Read more...]

A good book can save one's sanity in trying times, of which there have been no shortage in recent memory. As far as leisure activities go, reading hovers near the top of any list for what it brings to your life. But not just any kind of reading. According to author Eve Sedgwick, there's a difference between "paranoid" reading and "reparative" reading. Do I really need to know everything going on with the world at all times? is a question I don't ask myself anymore, because I found my … [Read more...]

And I think: It is no secret that poetry, especially good poetry, comes with nuances of insight, wisdom or meaning deftly woven within it. In my childhood days, poems were about rhyming and fun stories. Now, I am only beginning to glimpse the depths behind the often deceptively simple ingenuity. One such glimpse is where we frequently find ourselves, at Frost's two roads: the need to choose, to decide. What if both (or more) roads seem equal? What if neither is particularly appealing? We … [Read more...]

Sometimes, it's difficult to recognize the light when it hits you. We've all faced difficult times, and since last year, many more of them. And we've lost the carefree-ness in doing the simplest things, like hugs or family dinners, if we're doing them at all. The loss of the comfortable and familiar can be a lot to take. It can feel downright cruel to have them ripped away. There's a double edge to this cruelty; there is the loss itself, followed by emptiness and grief for the way things … [Read more...]