Do the right things, right now. That's it. Can it get any simpler than that? I don't think so. It's a reality check, a centering breath, a tough love reminder, a swift kick in the rear and a sobering mantra all rolled into one. And yet, we resist. When you know what to do, problems that arise don't faze you all that much. When you don't know what to do, fear and uncertainty dictate your every move, or lack thereof. For example, when you have your first kid, every tiny sound or … [Read more...]

Most of us lead lives of commitments and obligations. If we want our days to be less busy, we look to be more productive and efficient. When we succeed, we call it a win. We win some time, an item off our to-do list, or the pleasure of getting more done in less time. The more wins, the better. And while this greases the busy-day wheel, efficient days in themselves hardly stack up to an enriching, fulfilled life. If those were truly our ultimate goals, none of us would consent to have … [Read more...]

If there was ever a time the human collective was wishing not here, not this, this is one of them. As we cautiously wade through the unknown, it is easy to let our emotions command the throne and dictate our actions. Many of us are struggling with the consequences of the current situation, and struggle brings to the fore intense emotion. Thoughts about our health, our finances, our day-to-day normalcy, and what the future might hold have swirled in our heads more vigorously now than ever … [Read more...]

And I think: Perhaps, the greatest puzzle. Alice asks this question of herself in Wonderland, but you and I—while certainly not in Wonderland—can still ask it of ourselves. Who in the world am I? It's not that we need an answer, because there isn't one. "It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then," says Alice. Who you are keeps changing. You shift, you evolve, you transform. It is enough, I think, to ponder the question. As it happens, there is … [Read more...]

Some things in life are a given. A hundred different times, big and small, life has handed you lemons and sat on the front row to see what you do. While at times you served up some sweet, fresh-squeezed lemonade, there were plenty of them when you didn't. Otherwise known as failure. Something I, like you, am quite familiar with. Some of these times, I cried and cursed. Some others, I moped. There were also times, if I'm being honest, I got angry and fantasized scenarios when I … [Read more...]

In my last post, I asked if this time—of corona, of crisis, in this bizarre state of the world—is a time to take it easy, or do more. It seems as though time has slowed waaaaaaaay down. Most of what used to be normal in our lives has stalled to a trickle or completely stopped, the consequential uncertainty creating an excellent breeding ground for fear and anxiety. You might be the kind of person who tackles this by spurring into action. You might stack your to-do list. You might try … [Read more...]

This question comes up a lot, including in my own head. If things had gone according to plan, I'd be at work, kids would be at school, and life would be proceeding as normal. Instead, I'm writing in the morning, kids are getting ready for online classes, and the word 'normal' has lost all meaning. At some level we've always known that life is uncertain. But never has uncertainty manifested so largely, collectively and clearly, front and center, striking fear in our face and in our … [Read more...]

Balance is a word loaded with associations. When you think about balance, you might visualize an ideal you aspire to. You might hear the loud voices of society or your parents on what balance looks like. You might imagine a sense of lightness and ease and peace (finally!). Or, you might hear the whimpers stemming from your own exhaustion, from constantly trying to grasp at whatever your idea of balance might be. Work. Life. Self. In all the talk about finding balance, it's as … [Read more...]

I have a really, really hard time letting go of mistakes or failures, perceived or actual. A prison of my own making? Sign me up, and for the long haul! But while feeling trapped or limited by shortcomings and past choices has long been my oh-so-cozy comfort zone, in recent years I've rebelled against this so-called comfort, chipping away bit by bit, trying to bust out of this cell. I believe it's called "growing". Funny how when we think of growth, it sounds so healthy. Commendable. … [Read more...]

After you cross off your to-do list, after you wrap up the loose ends, after you soak in the satisfaction of a job well done, take a breath. . . . Now it's time to deal with the real stuff. Because the real stuff is the bridge between where you are and where you want to be. Whaaa? You mean all the work I just did wasn't enough?? Well . . . the easy stuff is not always easy, and it's necessary to live your days, yes. But the real stuff is necessary to live—really … [Read more...]