On the face of it, the concepts of self-awareness and self-acceptance are hardly new. However, using such words in everyday language and grasping the depth of meaning behind them is not the same. Here's a crash course for your enlightenment: self-awareness means knowing who you are. Self-acceptance means loving who you are, as you are. Taken together, it means being at peace with and truly possessing all that you have been and are and have done, that you are "fierce with reality". Your … [Read more...]

And I think: While Rilke is referring to solitude in his words in his Letters to a Young Poet, he's also commenting on the busyness of our lives, where we constantly attempt to eliminate pausing for anything, least of all ourselves. For as long as I can remember, my introverted nature has demanded I remove myself from the world as often as I can, not as a nice-to-have, but as a necessity for my own sanity. Only in my adult years could I articulate how essential being alone is for my … [Read more...]

Seeking, finding, maintaining and safeguarding our well-being is something we spend most of our time on, whether we're conscious of it or not. We seek pleasures, be it pleasant sights, sounds, tastes, sensations or moods. We surround ourselves with friends and loved ones. We satisfy our intellectual curiosity. We enjoy art, music or food. But our pleasures are fleeting. If we achieve some success, our feelings of accomplishment remain vivid and enjoyable for an hour or a day, but then they … [Read more...]

There's nothing like a crossroads to force you to think more deeply about what exactly it is that you want. All too easily, you could fall into the trap of simple aphorisms as a means to solve life's complex problems. Out of sight, out of mind. Go big or go home. I increasingly encounter the need to be more intentional, more discerning of the nuances of decision making. Life is far too complex for these one-liners to serve as fail-safe guides, and looking for an easy way out only adds to … [Read more...]

Is there such a superhero, with a catchy name and a movie franchise? If so, I haven't heard about it. But there's no doubt in my mind that being a defender of good promises is a super power indeed. To be a good defender requires a very important skill, the skill of saying a good no. Not just any no, but a good no. When you make a VIP—a Very Important Promise—especially to yourself, life tends to put you to the test to see if you really mean it. A good promise is a promise of substance, … [Read more...]

Intellectually, we can all admit that suffering is a fact of life. And yet, if given the choice, not one of us would like more of it. At times, we fight it; other times we deny it. And sometimes, we just plain ignore it. However we choose to react, each is a form of resistance. Not one of those ways works all that well, at least not for long. What if we stopped resisting instead? The most difficult thing to do in moments of suffering is to stand tall. To observe and accept the reality … [Read more...]

And I think: How incredible is it that in all my years of education, inner work, if I may use an all-encompassing term, was rarely mentioned. And even more incredible is how essential it is to our fundamentally being a human. The above quote has a few more lines to it: The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside, as fate.  That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner opposite, … [Read more...]

As arbitrary as it may be to celebrate a man-made construct we deem the 'new year'—for every day is a new day—it has become a universally accepted norm and cause for merriment. And behind the celebrations, a major driving force is the idea of a fresh start and a sense of possibility, and the hope and lightness entwined within. I will forgo the usual deliberation on resolutions, goals, and the like. Let us instead talk of intention. Of making new choices and giving ourselves second … [Read more...]

Math makes life easy. Engineers design bridges that don't fall down, economists plan budgets for spending, and scientists send shuttles into space. When there's no math involved, things can be difficult to measure, as can making decisions. Take purpose, for example. You have purpose in your relationships, in your business, in life. You may set intentions, you may have goals, you may even a vision of what things could (should) look like. But if you don't know what the purpose is, how … [Read more...]

If you're looking to change something, you start by looking at possibilities. But maybe you're looking for more than change. Maybe you're looking for a transformation. Where do you start? Even great transformations need a beginning. You can start with the limitations you face, because that's where the opportunities are for you to grow bigger, better, to evolve. But the mission—the exact what—is not always clear, and even a clear mission doesn't always have a clear path. More … [Read more...]