What builds the bridge between knowing how to work with fear and actually doing it? Lately, in the talks I’m listening to, in the books I’m reading, I find myself zoning in on how to work with fear (because we all know there’s no such thing as getting rid of it all together, like bank fees or bad hair days). Here are a few things I've noted, things I'm tossing, turning, trying. Feels Like The First Time Jon Acuff talks about doing things like it’s the first time, over and over again. If … [Read more...]
How To Navigate The Seduction of Convenience
This change you want to make. The one you put off for a long while. It seemed simple, but somehow became a lot of work. You’re not sure how to make it happen, if you’ll ever succeed. It’s confusing you, testing you, asking you to show up day after day. It’s leaving you in a lull or feeling unsure, and making you work for it whether you like it or not. With no guarantees. Not that that matters. There are no guarantees, really, at least that’s what I’m learning. The world keeps changing, and … [Read more...]
How a 20/20/20 Routine Changed My Mornings
This is a guest post by Scott Gardiner, and a testament to how small changes can add up to make a big difference. Enjoy! I used to wake up in the mornings like a lion with a thorn in his paw. I would creak and groan out of bed like I was much older than I actually was, and I dreaded the morning. I'm still not a huge fan of the alarm ringing in the morning, but some things have changed. My morning routine use to be: Wake up at the last minute possible Shuffle off to see my son … [Read more...]
How To Be A Superhero
I DIDN'T GROW up wanting to be a superhero. The cape, the special powers, the skin tight outfit...they were fun, but always a fantasy, separate from real life, the right now. Right now, life is happening. And just like back then, all I have at my disposal are my human powers. Like the ability to sometimes leap over small doubts, the power to turn green (with envy) when I feel I’m not succeeding, and the letter emblazoned on my chest is a big 'F', for Fragile. I do my best to keep that … [Read more...]
How To Shift When Your Inner Critic Gets Loud and Bossy
EVER GIVEN SERIOUS thought to the way you talk to yourself? What’s the voice inside your head like? Is it cheerful, encouraging, optimistic? Or does it say you’re not good enough, that things will surely go wrong? Is it mom? Dad? The inner language we employ has a lot to do with what we think of ourselves, what we think we’re worth and what we’re capable of. There are several ways we limit ourselves, but a limiting inner voice hangs out near the start line. Consider the words … [Read more...]
Will You or Won’t You? Why Willpower Doesn’t Suck
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT 9:30pm that always gets me in trouble. The kids are in bed, dinner was a couple hours ago, and then, almost like clockwork, the craving comes. Dessert. In the grand scheme of things, this is a small, insignificant problem. But at 9:30pm, after a tough day at work, a sweat-fest at the gym and plopping down on the couch to relax, the chatter inside my head gets louder, logic gets thinner, and suddenly, I'm in a battle of wills. But you promised to cut back on … [Read more...]
When Is The Right Time For Change?
TWO WHOLE MINUTES. I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe I did it. I was on Week 3 of the Couch to 5K running plan, and I had just run for two minutes straight. It was a wonderful, proud moment. I smiled so big and felt like a badass. I looked around at the gym, and no one noticed. I didn't care. I was here, I was off that dang couch, and I was excited. Those 30 pounds were going to come off; I was going to make sure of it. Running changed my life. I didn't know it would, but when you're … [Read more...]
The 10-Step Take-Charge Guide To Conquering The Overwhelm of HARD WORK
WHEN CONSIDERING MAKING a big change or starting a project, my first hurdle is getting over the overwhelm at the (long) path ahead of me. Maybe you've felt the same, and can recognize the signs. (OMG) That's a lot of hard work! This thought is either accompanied by mild panic or a sinking feeling in my stomach, depending on what the case might be. Your brain starts spouting things like this is too difficult, there's no way I can do this, or it's tooooooo much for me to handle. Before you … [Read more...]
Fitting In Is Old News. Belonging Is The New Black
REMEMBER WHEN YOU were a teenager, what a big deal it was if you didn't get invited to a party with the cool kids? Or if your best friend went to a movie with her "new" friends without you? Oh, the pain. The hurt. The awful, awful feeling of being left out. You can't even. You'd hole up in your room, depressed, and listen to sad songs, or maybe you'd get upset at your BFF (how could she!) and decide to ignore her. For a week, at least. On the outside, you'd act like it was no big deal. … [Read more...]
From Small Steps To Big Change (And How To Keep It Going)
Some days you lose all faith. You want to quit, toss over a desk or two, walk away, and never look back. You begin to question if all the effort was ever worth it, if it made any real difference. Maybe you drank the 'small steps, big change' cool aid and fooled yourself into believing - at least, in the moment - that your hard work will give you the results that you're looking for, bring you happiness or recognition or meaning or money. Then things got hard. Really, really … [Read more...]