3 Ways to tackle the obstacles of a new start

When you’re starting something new, you’re going to face two kinds of obstacles:

1. Real obstacles
2. Feel-real obstacles

Real obstacles are dealt with planning, deadlines, accountability, systems, and the like. The high of an Instagram-worthy goal plan alone can get your adrenaline pumping and itching for multi-colored Post-its.

Somewhat less attractive are the feel-real obstacles—by which I don’t mean fake or imaginary, but those under the surface, deeper, hidden—and they’re based on emotions or misinformation. Also known as fears.

These are the ones you need to track down first.

If not, they will fester and sabotage your attempts to deal with the real obstacles, no matter how impressive your Excel spreadsheet or how bright your highlighters.

Feelings like those of shame, self-doubt or not being good enough are powerful on their own, but add to that foggy notions based on misinformation, like old ideas and firm beliefs that no longer serve us, it’s no wonder that we’re too paralyzed to take the first step.

And because grand gestures make such wonderful fantasies, big leaps come to feel like the only way to bridge the gap between where you are and where you think you should be.

But most of us aren’t that reckless. So we do nothing.

The first step in dealing with feel-real obstacles is to get out of your own head. Because they’re primarily fears, they’re best dealt with in the light of day.

Here are three ways to get out of your head and shine a light on them:

1. Write down your thoughts

The act of writing forces you to articulate and clarify your concerns, not only helping you become more self-aware, but more importantly, it turns vague, ever threatening, looming storm clouds in your head into something less scary, more concrete, and often, much smaller.

2. Talk to a friend, therapist or coach

Support from a trusted and supportive person in your life turns feel-real obstacles into feel-better situations, boosting your confidence and dropping their perceived danger level, sometimes even ideas for practical solutions.

3. Remind yourself you’ve overcome these obstacles before

The fact that you’ve done it before is evidence to stave off your fears and to remind yourself that you’re capable of doing so again.

The trick is not to do any or even all of these, but to do them consistently enough so that the quantity of your efforts overcomes the quality of fears.

With a better handle on the feel-real obstacles, you create more space and emotional energy to deal with the real obstacles (like Excel) without getting in your own way.